How to reflect on 2021 without falling apart

Well, I was all amped up to write a blog reflecting on 2020, how it’s been so challenging and complicated, and nonetheless we learned so much.  How novel! I thought.  Then I received about 27 emails of exactly this kind in my mailbox over the past week.  I don’t feel the need to belabor the good points that have already been made, but I do want to invite you to tap into someone who has some incredible insight into the 2020 experience—and I’m not talking about JT.

I’m talking about you!  Perhaps you aren’t feeling particularly insightful about the meaning of 2020, and perhaps you’re even feeling overwhelmed by self-judgment. The remarkable thing about our wisdom is that it’s always there, always.  When we can’t find our wisdom, I find it’s often accessible through tapping into our older, wiser self.  This version of you is about 20 years older than you are now, they’ve transcended the bullshit and they’ve finally figured out how to wear your hair. They know what’s important, and they’re living their life authentically, honestly, and with gusto.  I invite you to connect with this version of yourself, and ask them how they now look back on 2020. 

I wonder what that older, wiser self would have to say about this year? Perhaps they would shake their head and roll their eyes and say, “Oh lord, 2020? That was brutal.”  Maybe they would talk about how sad you felt, how the loneliness was overwhelming, how grasping at normalcy was exhausting and futile.  Maybe they would use a soft and kind tone of voice, the kind you reserve for speaking of long and persistent suffering.  They would look back with compassion at how hard it was, how much you learned, how far you’ve come.  They have the gift of time and perspective, and are able to access tremendous compassion for the younger, sometimes stumbling version of yourself that had a really.hard.year.

The great secret is that this person is not just an aspirational, future version of yourself.  Your older, wiser self is an integral part of who you are right now.   Maybe through this part of yourself, you can access the perspective you need to gently acknowledge what was hard, what you learned, and maybe even congratulating yourself for getting through it. 

I don’t know what 2021 will bring, but I have tremendous faith in your wisdom to see it through.  In Buddhist psychology, we stand on the foundational belief that all things, all mind states, all feelings and all situations are inherently workable.  This belief keeps us from spiraling into fear, anxiety and overwhelm.  So as I peer into the great unknown that is this coming year, I’m holding on to the workability of it, no matter what it holds.

Onward!